Riaz’s Gangster Paradise

The nation deserves to know what has been cooking in Pakistan’s dirty kitchen where Riaz made the witches brew and everybody supped and shared happily till the table broke

For ordinary mortals like us, what goes around always comes around. And with added vengeance. Not so for Malik Riaz, our slum-dog billionaire whose real estate power overwhelmed the state of Pakistan at one point. He has had the best of luck—of the type that comes with the biggest of the buck. His notoriety is proportionate to his immense wealth. He accumulated both by displacing thousands of their ancestral lands, squeezing and sequestering the resisters out of their homes, bulldozing acres and acres of green patches, occupying state land, and erecting brick-and-mortar monstrosities on community holdings.

And yet he has remained untouchable. He has dodged cases, cut off the long arm of the law at the elbow, and eventually slipped out of the country in the middle of his trials.

All his rags-to-riches-bribe’em-bitches life, his survival formula has been simple. It is the reverse of OLX’s promotional tagline: “Sell everything! Now”. Instead, Mr Riaz preaches ad practices: “Buy out everyone! Always.” And as he has proven the formula works—always. From peons to presidents, from the men in robes to the men in khaki, from media owners and workers to the mandarins in all tiers, from politicians to policemen, for decades, Riaz had nothing on offer except cash, kind, or both. And since only a handful could say no to him, he used his contacts and ballooned his empire across the country's four corners, obliging practically every power broker in the land along the way.

This may be changing now. At least on paper. The National Accountability Bureau— itself not exactly an institution of sterling repute—has issued a remarkable notice to the public asking them to refrain from buying into his housing schemes, here and in Dubai. The press note declares the man and his son, frauds—wanted criminals who are likely to be extradited to Pakistan to face the law. Undeterred by this daring stuff from NAB that he once controlled as if it were his munshi, the never-say-die-always-buy Riaz of Bahria Town fame has shot back through an X post. He has suggested that these allegations are coercive tactics to make him sing against Imran Khan. He has threatened to unleash the dirt he has on EVERYBODY. Sticking to his guns on his joint venture in Dubai, usefully mentioning the name of the ruler of Dubai, Sheikh Mohammad Bin Rashid Al Makhtoum, he has dared the Pakistani authorities to take him on.

This makes it interesting for someone like myself who has always been on the opposite side of Malik Riaz, losing two jobs in the process and earning endless ire, hounding and trolling from legions of the seemingly respectable men and women that this non-matriculate keeps on permanent dole. (The list of his minions is so long that substack will be over-stacked by the mere mention of the names!) But this apparent twist in the incredible tale of this fascinating thug isn’t interesting for personal reasons. This is quite a story politically as well. The current charge against Mr Riaz is led by the military establishment that once nurtured and benefitted from his escapades. They want the man to open up about his crime-laced interaction with Imran Khan and Bushra and spill the beans. That Riaz can’t do because the bean jar is a prized possession that carries his business recipes.

To ask him to speak against his benefactors and partners is to ask him to kill his Unique Selling Point—a sort of a vow made at the time of marriage of convenience among mega thieves: you scratch my back and I will scratch yours and we shall live together till meth do us part.

While the current establishment has nothing to fear from Riaz’s filthy files, or so we are told, everyone else, including those in power, are mortally concerned that this faceoff between the two will bring all their unwashed laundry in public. They have no interest in Riaz being chased and nabbed. This means the Establishment is pretty much a lone ranger against Riaz and will not get any real support from any political actor of any value.

What would become of this hot pursuit then? If recent history is any guide, it is likely to peter out. Or slowed down to the point of becoming ineffectual. Its theatricality might continue like naming and shaming Riaz and mocking him. But the guys isn’t designed to be shamed so no sweat off his back.

The other interesting issue involves Dubai. The Riaz-UAE joint venture could not have been possible without the ruling family’s sanction. And their sanction isn’t without scrutiny. Also, unlike here in Pakistan where everything is reversible, their schemes are meant to meet the intended goals. Will Pakistan push the envelope with Dubai rulers on the JV with Riaz that they have endorsed? Unlikely. And in case Pakistan does, will they listen? Even more unlikely. In fact, they can legitimately turn around and say, if you want him so bad why did you let him go out in the first place? This can cause considerable embarrassment. As it is Pakistan is awkwardly placed around the world in major capitals; the Gulf is the last place where we want to have even a small spat. Extradition and warning against Riaz’s Dubai business deals are hollow threats.

As for taking over his properties here, frankly sinking Bahria Town (I am not fond of the scheme) will end up hurting the public more than the owner, who by the way has moved all his liquid assets abroad, Turkey and the Gulf, and has left behind what can be considered (from the viewpoint of his pocket) small change. He can say, “Go ahead and shut down BT in Pakistan and see what happens on the streets.”

It looks like NAB and its managers have boasted more than they can deliver by issuing the press note. Malik Riaz’s net worth is twice more than the total foreign reserves of Pakistan and that can get him long-term protection anywhere in the world.

But I do wish that he gets caught. I do pray that he speaks his heart out. I want to hear him talk about the “Gangsta’s Paradise” that Pakistan’s power politics is from within. As rapper Coolio sang in his super song:

“Power and the money, money and the power

Minute after minute, hour after hour

Everybody is running but half of them ain’t looking

It is going on in the kitchen but I don’t know whats cooking”.

The nation deserves to know what has been cooking in Pakistan’s dirty kitchen where Riaz made the witches brew and everybody supped and shared happily till the table broke and they started hurling knives and forks at each other. But like everything else, the nation will not get what it deserves on this count too. Riaz will remain at large. The Establishment will stay enraged for a while and then get engaged in another wild goose chase. Bahria Town Touts, beneficiaries of collective thuggeries that went on when Riaz was the king of the universe, will stay un-named and happy. This is how it is in this land of the pure taken over by the impure. Here crap never hits the fan because everyone is a fan and protector of the crap.